Thursday, March 14, 2013

Bad news and MORE bad news...

Sweet Sophia

Our first night with Sophia was good... Mike was concerned that she wasn't eating but I assured him it was just because she was a young puppy in a new environment, besides, we had enough bad luck... of course she was fine. Copper could care less about her... and Isabella had a new friend.
Our first full day with Sophia was not so good... she started throwing up... a lot. To the point where we took her to the emergency vet. We thought she would be fine. Then she tested positive for Parvo. Parvo is a very contagious virus in dogs that attacks the intestinal system. It causes severe diarrhea and vomiting which leads to dehydration, and death in some cases... especially puppies. We had to sign a waiver agreeing to pay a large amount for them to keep her overnight and give her IV fluids. We also had to agree to pick her up by 7AM the  next morning and take her to our own vet.
My husband and I argued on the way home about the money. It would be over $400 for that one night... how much more would it be at our vet? But I couldn't just let her die!! I had lost my baby and couldn't do anything about it... I was NOT about to lose this puppy that we could potentially help!! I was determined. And he agreed to at least see how much it would cost.
I called our vet after I picked her up and they would see her immediately. They could only give me an estimate of the cost, we would have to see day by day what she needed. She also had a cough and some sneezing and watering from her eyes so as they were running their own test they also suggested that she be tested for distemper. An even deadlier disease. They said the chance was slim that she had it but they wanted to make sure. I agreed. It was going to be a wait and see process. In the meantime... I called the animal shelter we had gotten Sophie from and told them of her diagnosis. They were about to call us. Soph's sisters had died. All of them. The boys of the litter were fine, they were in a different area as the girls. She was already one step ahead of the rest... and they agreed to pay the vet bills.
A few days later we received the results of the other tests. She had distemper as well. Nearly a death sentence for puppies... she had a 20% chance of survival if she only had distemper, but she had gotten parvo as well and her chances were even lower. And I was heartbroken.
"God please help her... please don't let her die too. I can't take it. I can't lose her too!! God please help us!! You were faithful with the financial aspect... please get her through this."
Distemper attacks basically every system in the body. It began in her respiratory system then progressed to her intestinal system which made her susceptible to parvo. We knew eventually it would attack her nervous system... but we didn't know how badly. We visited her every day, sometimes twice a day, while she was in the animal hospital. She was quarantined from all other animals. They kept a radio on so she wouldn't feel alone when the nurses weren't with her. Mike helped me find K-Love on it so she would hear joyful music all the time.
We got a miraculous Easter present... we got to bring our little girl home. Since I had experience in the medical field they said it would be better for me to treat her at home than for her to be there alone all weekend. I was ready to nurse this pup back to health.
It was hard... she was so sick... we took turns sleeping in the guest bedroom with her... terrified that she would die in the night without us knowing it. We kept her airways clean so she didn't suffocate... we kept her hydrated with pedialyte. We gave her every bit of medicine we could. I researched distemper and how to also treat it holistically. I gave her vitamins... I ordered special vitamins online. Our vet was okay with that because her system was so depleted they said any vitamins could help. She was so fragile. I didn't even realize how much of a distraction she was to me that month, the month that our baby was supposed to be born into the world.
She got better and then she would get worse... and back and forth it would go.
Then I started my next cycle. No baby. Try and try again.
But at that time I was too distracted willing Sophia to fight and live.


Annual "Check-up"

Next it was time for my yearly appointment with my GYN. She asked if we had started trying again... I said, yes since we were cleared in October. I broke down in tears, telling her about how sad I was sometimes... and the baby shower... and how I thought we would've been pregnant by then. She did my exam... and as we were finishing up she said "You know... you're awfully thin. Have you always been this thin?" ... Yes. "Well do you want to check your progesterone to make sure your ovulating? It's a common problem in women who are super thin like you."... Uhmm.... Okay. I agreed. This had to be checked on a certain day of your cycle so we made the appointment to come back May 4th for the blood test to check this level. In the meantime I would do so much research on progesterone that I thought my computer would explode. I mentioned it to Mike that night... the more I read the more anxious I got... Could I not be ovulating?! But I'm in great health... why do all these sites keep mentioning this type of "infertility" ... But I was healthy. I didn't smoke. I had never done any drugs. There's no way I could be infertile... I was too young to be infertile! My mom never had any problems... My mind was racing. Then I had more important things take over my mind... Our due date was fast approaching. And the anxiety was growing with it.
In the meantime... I would take care of Soph to the best of my ability. I prayed over her every day and night. Real genuine prayers... healing prayers. Unselfish whole hearted prayers. I was learning to pray... and give thanks for our blessings. I was trusting that God would see her (and us) through this ordeal. And I MEANT it. I TRUSTED him with this. COMPLETELY. And that was major progress. I still wasn't where I needed to be, but I was learning.

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