Friday, March 7, 2014

Giving you all of me, is where I'll start

I've written a few posts lately that I have yet to publish, feeling as though it's not quite time for those yet... But I have spent many many hours in prayer over the last two weeks as to when it was appropriate for my family for us to post this one. 

There's a special song that has rapidly become the theme to our life, as of late. It's by Matt Hammitt and it is called All of Me

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole

You're gonna have all of me 
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you


Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

Chorus (X2)

It's where I'll start

It's a strange feeling, thinking you might see a light at the end of the tunnel finally... Sometimes it shines so bright that it startles you and leaves you bewildered... This can't possibly be true, can it? Lord... Is this our chance? It's scary... So much can happen, so much has happened. So much can go wrong. But that doesn't mean we should live in fear. Lord, you know you have all of me... And little one, I will not let my fear interfere with my love for you. 

This is our "clover," our lucky baby number 4... And hopefully the first child that we get to hold in our arms. I know you all have a million questions so I will try to answer those now. 

We are currently 8 weeks pregnant. We accidentally discovered this glorious little miracle when I was about 5.5 weeks along. No, we were not trying... This is the glorious power of The Lord, as you know we were given roughly a 1-2% chance of ever conceiving naturally again. My surgery in November had nothing to do with my poorly working ovaries, just my uterine cavity. The doctor prays that surgery will keep me from having further recurrent miscarriages. It has been so hard to keep this a secret, because we wanted to shout from the rooftops how glorious and faithful our God is. It was a hard decision to put this out there because so much can go so wrong so fast, but we are stepping out in faith, bragging on God and asking, once again, for your prayers. So far everything is perfect, and we are just overwhelmed with joy. We see our doctor weekly due to the fact that my first trimester is so risky. 

For our few family members that have kept this secret with us, thank you so much for respecting our wishes until we were ready to publicize this information. 

For those that are just finding out... There's a few things we ask that you don't say. Please don't say "I told you if you'd relax ... If you'd stop trying... If you'd do 'so and so' this would happen." This was nothing but the awesome power of God. Relaxing didn't suddenly make my body decide to start working, not trying doesn't cure the disease of infertility. Only God can do that, not giving Him that glory would trivialize His miracle. I've seen so many women who finally get their miracles just to be further downtrodden by other's words... So we ask that you be respectful to us, this child and most of all... Our God and Savior. To God alone, be the glory. To God alone, be the praise. 

For my dear friends still waiting for your turn, I pray for you every day... Don't lose the faith, God is holding you near to his heart. I hope you feel that power in your life. 

Dear little clover,
You have all of me... And all of daddy... And you will always know that you are such an amazing miracle from God... Hold tight little baby, you'll meet your siblings one day, but we pray you meet us first. Keep growing my tiny love. Mommy will do all she can to care for you every second of every day. We've prayed for you for so long... So very long... 
With every beat of my heart,
Your thankful mommy


We are leaving tomorrow for a much needed vacation with my entire family, even my grandma on her first trip out of the country! If you don't get a fast response from us, we will be back in the country and back to having cellular service on Thursday! Love to you all! 


  1. You are so right, this is God and only Him! Praying for you always!

    Hope you have an amazing trip and feel good!

  2. Look at that beautiful little baby. S/he truly is a miracle! :o)

    Enjoy your vacation! I can't wait to hear about it when you get back!