It probably is.
Cliché right? Yeah, I know you've heard it a million times. It holds steady because it's usually true. Well, at least it seems to be true more often than not. So what do you do when things fall through?
For instance, if you were told that you would be receiving financial assistance for... oh I don't know... let's say an important medical procedure that was coming up... and then the group who offered the assistance backed out... what do you do?
Well first... if it was us... let's say we'd be pretty mad... and then I would cry (big shocker there right?!)
We found ourselves in this predicament last week. I wasn't ready to post about it because I knew I would only be posting out of hurt and anger and would end up badmouthing someone... which is wrong. So I haven't posted in a while.
So there we were... short on funds. With the deadline to pay fast approaching.
One thing that still rings true... God will never lead you down a path without providing for you along the way. Even when it feels like things are falling apart... there will always be someone there to help you along... help bear the burden.
Now, had we known that we were going to fund this all on our own, we would've scrimped and saved even more than we already were... we would have used all our tax return to project baby instead of paying off some things that could have waited... but saying we would've done things differently is counterproductive. We could spend our entire lives talking about what ifs and what could have been done and what might have been.
Our blessing this time came in another form. Our blessing would not come in the form of work assistance. It would come in the form of two people... whose love brought me into this world. Two people who I know would give anything for us not to have to be dealing with such problems. Two people that would give of themselves as much as they possibly could to benefit their own children. My amazing parents.
I would be lying if I said they have never offered assistance to us before... in more ways than I can count.
There were many things about my parents marriage that I didn't understand until I found myself married facing the problems of this world. They have taught me so much about life, love and most of all strength and resilience. No matter how much adversity they faced being married with children at such a young age, they worked their way to success... and never expected any less from my brother and myself. I see them differently now... I see how their struggle and love over the years formed us into people unlike many people that I know. I see how they have grown, as individuals, as Christians and as a couple. They learned as they went along... and taught us everything they learned "the hard way" so that it might be easier for us. More times than not, we still felt the need to learn things the hard way (I often blame my stubborn nature on them... that I got it honestly... ha ha) I feel so fortunate to have them in my life and it saddens me to know all of the many times I took them for granted or became hurt or angry with them when they acted in ways I could not understand. I guess that can be said of many children once they become adults to have such thoughts as these.
My greatest wish is that I will love and provide for my children as they have provided for us, even when they had very little to give. My parents were not perfect. I know that there are many things they would do differently if given the chance. I know this because they have told me this... but given the chance, I would never trade them for anyone in the world. I know without any shadow of a doubt how much they love my brother and me. I know because they show it... they tell me. They've told me more in the last two years than ever in my life... or maybe I just have the ears to hear it now, and as a child I couldn't hear it in the same way. Maybe I feel it more now because I know the love that a parent can have for a child, even a child that is not on this earth... even for a child that has yet come to be... I know that they are vulnerable at times... and they're open to me... they don't have to protect me from all the bad things of the world. Love and honesty go hand in hand. They can't protect me from the bad things we are living through. They can't just "make it better". They can't kiss the "boo-boos" and make the pain go away. I felt their pain as they felt helpless when we lost our first child. I knew they wanted to fix it, but couldn't. I know how hard it was for them to juggle the pain and sadness they felt for me and the joy and happiness they felt for my brother at the same time with his first child that was on the way. I know how they wish they could change our current circumstances.
All they can do is love and support us... and that changes our world. Knowing they are there. They have always been there. And as long as they are able they will always be there for us... supporting us and loving us however they possibly can.
For that, I am eternally grateful.
After all that has happened... all that we have been through... I look into their eyes and see something I was never able to see before... just how much love they have to give and how my pain is their pain... and how, no matter how much trouble my brother and I have been over the years, they too, would not trade us for anyone or anything.
I will leave you with this quote that I feel perfectly sums up how much we take our parents for granted in our younger years... and makes me giggle.
Say a special prayer of thanksgiving for your parents today... and be sure they know how much you love and appreciate them.
I love you Mom and Dad. So very very much.