I do this for you.

I'm sorry about all of the silence. I've actually contemplated quitting the blogger business a lot lately, but for selfish reasons... there have been several things in my personal life lately that have made me want to quit... but then I think... I don't do this for me.

I don't do this for the people who feel the need to share with me that they do not believe miscarried babies go to heaven. Everyone has to find their own belief. I have found this. I find comfort in the knowledge that my babies are safe in the arms of our Father. I know he holds them safe, when their little hearts stopped beating, their eyes opened to Jesus. That is all I need to know about it. Before I formed you in the womb I knew you [Jeremiah 1:5]

I don't do this for the people who don't think a baby is a real baby until a certain point. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. [Psalm 139:14]

I don't do this for the people who think we should just get over things and move on with our life. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. [Matthew 5:4]

I don't do this for the people who continue to ask WHY don't we just adopt... because trust me if it were that easy, we'd have at least as many kids as we have dogs... and probably a lot more. We follow this journey as we are led, and as God provides. You make known to me the path of life. [Psalm 16:11]

I don't do this for my own satisfaction...

I don't do this for my own well-being. Although writing is therapy, putting my intimate personal life out there for the world to criticize is not therapeutic.

I do this for the women who are hurting.

I do this for the woman that feels alone in her loss.

I do this for every person who has ever lost a baby.

I do this for every person battling, or who has battled infertility.

I do this for you, dear friend... the one in misery right now.

I do this for you, dear sister, who feels like your heart is torn into a thousand pieces.

I do this to remind you, you are not alone.

I do this to remind everyone... no matter what bad things are going on in your life, God never leaves you.

I do this for my friend who is scared and angry and upset and falling apart.

Your pain is my pain.

When I hear of your loss and your heartbreak... my heart breaks too.

I shed tears for every loss I hear about. Your tears are my tears. My tears are for your angels as well as my own.

I do this to battle sorrow with love... despair with compassion... loneliness with understanding.

You cry, I cry.

We are a family... we are a sisterhood.

I strive to love you as God loves you... and oh how He loves.

The holidays are hard. Hard if you have lost a child. Hard if you have lost anyone. Hard if you are alone. Hard if you are sad. Harder still if you are experiencing a loss right now. But you are not alone. You may be sad, angry and miserable... but you are loved, you are not alone. I will always be here to remind you of this. I will always be here to share your pain. I will always be here to help carry your burden as I carry my own.

I do this for you, because I love you... because God loves you, and He wants you to know it.

 

Philippians 2:3-4        

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

 

John 13:34

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

 

National Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Month

Most people know the month of October as breast cancer awareness month... but did you know it is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month? In 1988 President Ronald Reagan declared the awareness month... Here is his speech, Proclamation 5890:

Each year, approximately a million pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of the newborn child. National observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, 1988, offers us the opportunity to increase our understanding of the great tragedy involved in the deaths of unborn and newborn babies. It also enables us to consider how, as individuals and communities, we can meet the needs of bereaved parents and family members and work to prevent causes of these problems. Health care professionals recognize that trends of recent years, such as smaller family size and the postponement of childbearing, adds another dimension of poignance to the grief of parents who have lost infants. More than 700 local, national, and international support groups are supplying programs and strategies designed to help parents cope with their loss. Parents who have suffered their own losses, health care professionals, and specially trained hospital staff members are helping newly bereaved parents deal constructively with loss. Compassionate Americans are also assisting women who suffer bereavement, guilt, and emotional and physical trauma that accompany post-abortion syndrome. We can and must do a much better job of encouraging adoption as an alternative to abortion; of helping the single parents who wish to raise their babies; and of offering friendship and temporal support to the courageous women and girls who give their children the gifts of life and loving adoptive parents. We can be truly grateful for the devotion and concern provided by all of these citizens, and we should offer them our cooperation and support as well. The Congress, by Senate Joint Resolution 314, has designated the month of October 1988 as "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month" and authorized and requested the President to issue a proclamation in observance of this month. Now, Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim the month of October 1988 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I call upon the people of the United States to observe this month with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities. In Witness Whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-fifth day of October, in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty-eight, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirteenth.RONALD REAGAN

It wasn't until 2006 that congress approved a proposal to make October 15th National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. That campaign began in 2002 by Robyn Bear, who after 5 miscarriages desired to raise awareness for those who had little to no support during their losses. With the help of Lisa Brown and Tammy Novak, they changed the way America thinks... or at least put it out there. Who says a few friends can't change the world?
With the help of the American campaign, Canada soon followed. In recent years, UK, Western Austrailia, New South Wales and Italy have recognized and instituted a holiday.

You can visit Robyn's website here.

That's a little history for you... and here are some more shocking facts.

1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. One in FOUR. That's astounding. Having three angel babies myself, sometimes it feels like even higher odds than that. I AM ONE IN FOUR. Are you? If you are, I want you to know that on this day I am specifically praying for you, as are countless other people reading this blog.

The goal of all of this? To let those know, who are suffering. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You don't have to grieve in silence. You are a mother... whether your child is in your arms or in the arms of our Father in Heaven.

Although Pregnancy and Infant Awareness Day is not an international holiday, there is an international celebration of these little lives happening today! At 7:00 pm in every time zone, parents all over the world will be lighting candles in their children's honor. The idea is to have one continuous "wave of light" connecting all of us together over the entire world in love and support. The candles will burn for one hour.

We will be lighting three candles this evening... thinking about that seems like it is far too many. One would be too many, but here we are. Today, especially I find comfort in the community I have found through our losses... and knowing tonight, their candles will burn with mine.

____________________________________________________________________

On a side note, while sitting in my backyard a few days ago, I looked up and saw this:

Yes, my heart lies in Heaven... and in my mind, I could hear my three little children saying "Mommy! Look at the picture that God helped us draw for you!"

I love you my darlings, I miss you so.
Until we meet again,
Mommy