Wednesday, April 3, 2013


I started Letrozole (brand name Femara) on December 27th. Finally a welcome side effect, super short periods. I took these meds on days 3-7 of my cycle.

This medication is commonly used in high doses in women who are fighting breast cancer. I often find myself wondering how they determine these "other uses" for medications. For example, the shots my mammaw gets in her eyes to treat wet macular degeneration is actually used in high doses to treat colon cancer... it baffles me... who thought "Oh we should inject this in that gimp eye just to see what happens"? Clearly this sector of science is above my pay grade... I never did care for chemistry. Anyways...

Some of the side effects were similar to what I felt with Clomid: headaches, hot flashes, some dizziness, fatigue, night sweats... but the worst thing? Muscle and joint pain. I have a fairly high tolerance for pain... after numerous run-ins with kidney stones... there isn't much pain that I can't deal with. This was intense. I found my OCD self laying on a heating pad with muscle relaxers instead of doing laundry and cleaning. The symptoms also lasted longer on the Letrozole, most likely due to the fact that it stays in your system longer than Clomid does.

These side effects would later come back to bite me when I had gotten more used to expecting the pain, and then confusing the pain for a side effect and trying to muscle through it when I was in actuality passing a kidney stone, however I could finally tell the difference when I started having the tell-tell bladder spasms of yet another stone being stuck at my bladder wall.

Despite all that I was very hopeful for this medication to work for us. I was excited to be on it... my sister-in-law conceived on her second month of taking this drug... and I just knew we would have the same experience!!

No baby round 1. Started round 2 January 23, 2013. No baby. Started round 3 February 22, 2013. I ovulated all three rounds!! Upon the start of our third round, we were informed that this would be the last treatment she could do with us. We would need to go on and make an appointment with Fertility Associates of Memphis, she suggested seeing Dr. Ke. I was encouraged to go on and call them because it can take weeks (and sometimes months) to get in with an initial appointment to see him. I like to be proactive sometimes, so I did as I was told. His first available when I called in February was April 1st. Wow. Guess they were right! And I could always cancel the appointment if I ended up pregnant... which I just knew after all this would happen and I could happily call and cancel, elated that we would begin a different journey.

During our last round, after I ovulated I was given the date to test for pregnancy if I had not yet started my period. March 19th. This was fate... that was our anniversary. What better gift to give my husband on our day of celebration of love than to show him that we were pregnant?! I fantasized about that day... how beautiful it would be to celebrate a pregnancy on the anniversary of our wedding day... I dreamed about it... I day dreamed about it. I tried, in vain, not to get my hopes up. But it felt right. It felt like it was finally going to happen. I prayed harder than ever.

But that didn't happen. Although I ovulated all three rounds, we still did not get pregnant. I was not one of those lucky people who get pregnant after their medications and HSG test... Our anniversary, as much as we tried not to be disappointed, was a hard emotional day for both of us.

Discouraging right?

After crying it out the morning of yet another negative pregnancy test... (I really should own stock in Clear blue easy) We chose to spend the day focused on one another instead of wallowing in our sadness, there was time for that later. All in all it was a good day. At work I received a beautiful delivery of red roses. Surprised and so happy (flowers are a straight shot to my heart)... I was not expecting the second delivery later... chocolate covered strawberries. He really went all out to make me feel special. I did feel that. I felt loved beyond measure. I felt so blessed that this man sees past all of my inadequacies and loves me whole heartedly. We went to our favorite date-night restaurant, splurged on dinner, crab cakes, prime rib, red wine and crème brulee. It was a good day. It was a day filled with love.

But during that three month period, something better... something amazing had happened during that time...

Read on...


  1. So not fair! Next post please. :)

  2. I'm glad we are almost caught up now. I'm looking forward to reading in "real time". ;o)