Time to take my own advice, Love ALONE is worth the Fight

Once in a blue moon, you find a song that speaks to your soul. It has a way of uplifting you more than any ordinary words or actions can do. It's the kind of song you put on repeat and play endlessly, when no one else is around (because if someone else was in the car with you and you listened to the same song fifty times, people might think you've lost it). It's the kind of song that trumps any anxiety medicine. It can make you smile through your tears. Currently, this is that song:

 

"Love Alone Is Worth The Fight" -Switchfoot

 

The closer it gets to my surgery, the higher my anxiety level goes. I don't exactly know what I'm afraid of... but my nerves are getting the best of me! So let me break down for you exactly why this song speaks to me so much:

I'm trying to find where my place is
I'm looking for my own oasis
So close I can taste this
The fear that love alone erases 

Everyone is looking for their own place in the world, we are no different. We know where and what we want to be... that's obvious, parents. That is our desire. We've gotten so close... so close we could taste it. We've gotten pregnant... we've gotten pregnant with twins... we have had a successful IVF procedure... we got so close... we were so happy, so in love with our children. We felt like the fight was over... and yet...

So I'm back to the basics
I figure it's time I face this
Time to take my own advice

Love alone is worth the fight

Love alone is worth the fight

 

Now we find ourselves back to square one. Starting over. So frustrating. We had it... and it slipped through our fingers. I find that I have been asking myself what would I tell someone else in this situation... keep the faith, stay on the path... even if that path seems to take you back to the beginning. It's worth it. The end result is worth the pain and frustration. That is what I would say. Honestly, I love to give advice. I'm always open to give someone a listening ear and then give my opinion if they asked for it. (Many times in the past I would give anyone advice even if they didn't ask for it, but now I don't recommend this tactic very often). But who likes to take their own advice? It's so much easier to tell someone else what they should do... even if it's not what they want to hear. Once in a blue moon... the person's advice you need, is within you. Listen to the words God gives you that you think are intended for others... maybe they are really intended for you.

 And I never thought it'd come to this
But it seems like I'm finally feeling numb to this
The funny thing about a name is
You forget what the reason you were playing the game is

And it's all an illusion

A 21st century institution

 

Sometimes I look our life and I cannot believe that we have been through so much in our marriage. Sometimes I feel like we barely even got to enjoy being married before we were thrown into the cruel world of pregnancy loss and infertility. Sometimes we hurt so much that we can barely even feel the pain... we go into a sort of shock because, surely the weight of it all would kill us. Sometimes it doesn't even feel real. We go to the appointments, we hear the doctor's advice... and we move on with the plan, as long as God provides, we push forward. 

 So I'm headed down the open road unknown
And we find what we're made of
Through the open door
Is it fear you're afraid of?
What are you waiting for?
Love alone is worth the fight
Love alone is worth the fight

 

And we push on... with God by our side. We have faith we are on the right path, due to His provisions. Our insurance company should cover our surgery 100%, at least that's what they are currently saying. How could we refuse? If the doctor says he believes it will help future pregnancies... if our insurance is willing to pay for it... we can't say no. The door is open... and we are boldly headed through it. When you are faced with these decisions, surely you do learn what you are made of... I know we have, repeatedly. I feel as if any mother in my situation would do the same. Think about it, if you could do something that might save the lives of your future children, you would do it... right? How can I not? Even if it is just a slight chance of decreasing the odds of miscarrying again, I have to do it! Please don't get me wrong here, I know that God is the one in control of every situation, but He is making provisions for us to have this procedure... He is the one that opened the door, how can we not walk through it? Especially with Him by our side.   

 

We're only here for a season
I'm looking for the rhyme and reason
Why you're born, why you're leaving
What you fear and what you believe in
Why you're living and breathing
Why you're fighting it and getting it even
Let's go headed down the open road unknown

While we are here, we will keep on fighting... we fight for our future children. We fight to honor our children that have gone to Heaven... We fight to spread the word that no matter what happens in life, God is good. God is love. We fight to find our place in life, whether it is what we think it should be or not, we fight to follow God's leading. We sometimes fear the future, we fear the things we are currently faced with (like my surgery) but we believe God will use whatever comes of it for good. We believe that God loves us. We believe that these things aren't happening to punish us or because we deserve it... we may never know the reason, at least not here in this life, but it is for a reason. God has a reason for everything, even when we do not have the answers.

And we find what we're made of
Through the open door
Is it fear you're afraid of?
What are you waiting for?
Love alone is worth the fight
Love alone is worth the fight

Here we are, here we go
Where the road is our own
Hear it calling you home
Here we are, here we go!
Love alone is worth the fight

Love alone is worth the fight

One of the biggest life lessons that my brother taught me, was that we are fighters. We are overcomers. We have seen many battles in our lives, most of which you will never read about... From a young age he taught me that no matter what happens, we are survivors. It is simply what we do. When we are faced with hard times, we brace ourselves... we push through it. He told me this and showed me this so many times that I actually believed it, no questions asked. It became a part of me. No matter what happened, I knew that we would get through it... because there was no other option. He showed me how to have faith before I even knew what faith was. He saved me from so much turmoil by reminding me, we are fighters... we will survive. Now as an adult, I still live and breathe by this. We fight. We overcome. We give the fight everything we've got.

Love alone is worth the fight!

Looking back now, I can see through every situation in which I found myself, God was by my side. God was fighting for me. God has always loved me, well before I ever fully accepted Him. He has always been fighting for me... because  to him, I was worth it. I am still worth it. He still fights for me! He wants my love, and that is enough reason for Him to fight... for me. I am still a fighter... I am a fighter with the grace of God on my side. When you've come so far, what is there to fear? If you are on God's side, there is no reason to fear. He has already overcome the world. Jesus has already paid the ultimate price... so I repeat, if you are ultimately saved, what do you have to fear? No matter what happens in this life, one thing I am sure of is where I will spend eternity, what more is there to worry about?

Love alone is worth the fight!

I want you to know that whatever you are fighting for... it is worth it. God will stand by your side... God will fight for you because your love is worth it. You are worth it.

Love alone is worth the fight!

Fight the good fight... fight for your God. Fight for your relationship. Fight to be with the one you love. Fight for your marriage. Fight for your health. Fight to survive. Fight for your dreams. Fight for your children. Fight to see the beauty in the world. Fight for love...

... it is so worth it.

I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do... play it loud. :)