We have arrived at 12 weeks. It still feels so strange, like a dream come true. This week we saw a regular doctor. That felt so bizarre... to be back in that office, with the "normal" people. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared to leave our specialist. Even though he repeatedly told us that everything was perfect and normal, it still feels surreal to have a "normal" pregnancy progressing so beautifully. I never dreamed this would be our situation, I desperately wanted a miracle, but is anyone really prepared for it? We dream of it... we beg for it... but do we truly believe it will happen to us? I can't say that I did.
I spend much of my days in prayer, as I've probably said before. Prayers of devotion, thanksgiving, protection and peace. And guess what? God always answers my prayers, I pray for peace and I receive it. Whenever I become anxious, I repeat in my mind "I believe in this miracle. Thank you Lord for bestowing this amazing blessing upon us." I say it until I'm confident in it. And I do. I believe in this miracle. I believe in your miracle too, even if you haven't received it yet. God is still good. God is good all of the time.
I sought the Lord and He answered me. He delivered me from all of my fears. Psalm 43:4
Our most recent appointment couldn't have gone better. Clover baby is growing, moving and beautiful.
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Psalm 37:5,7
I am so in love with this child. I'm in love with all of my children, and I long for the day when we are all together in Heaven... but for now I rest in this feeling of joy. We don't see a doctor again for an ENTIRE month! I've never been allowed to go that long, it's scary and so exciting. I cannot wait to find out whether our little clover baby is a boy or a girl. I finally feel comfortable enough to fantasize about the future, baby names and room layouts and all of the fun things that go along with expecting. If you follow me on pinterest, I'm sorry for flooding you with goodies... and food, lots of food. Lol. Recently I even invested in some cute maternity clothes. I feel bigger every day, and I must admit... it makes me feel beautiful, this life inside of me.
Something is definitely growing in there. :) As our first trimester is rapidly coming to a close, I can't help but feel like shouting from the rooftops how amazing our God is. I don't hesitate when anyone asks about our pregnancy to tell them what a miracle it is, and how amazing our God truly is. Please continue to pray for us and little clover baby, who is now the size of a large plum or a ripe apricot (depending on what app you look at). We are feeling a little better every day, a little less sick... a little less tired. Some days are still tough, but they are glorious. My darling child, I will do anything I possibly can to take care of you... even if all you want to eat is Special K (fruit and yogurt variety) and sliced bananas (clover's current favorite food). I've never been so anti-junk food before. Not because I'm trying to be healthy, but because I just do not want it, for the first time in my life. All in all, everything is going wonderfully. I praise God for that every day, please join me in singing His praises. For today, I'll leave you with this beautiful verse:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
We hope to be able to update you soon with more good news and a gender announcement just as soon as we know!! My mom is thinking it's a girl... I'm leaning towards a boy. We have NO preference, but in every clover dream I have, baby is a bouncing beautiful boy. :) We love you all! Thank you for your love and prayers!
National Infertility Awareness Week is approaching very soon, so be on the lookout for information about events going on around the US and where you can go to find information and support. Remember, if you are on the path of infertility... God is not doing this to punish you. You haven't done anything to deserve this. But God WILL use this to grow you. He WILL use this to take your faith beyond anything you could even imagine and He WILL use you to bring Him glory. He is in the business of miracles, and He has a plan for you. Stand confident in the love of our Father.